6/14/03, Savannakhet, Laos — I’ve now spent a week cycling south from Vientien and am now in Savannakhet, where I will rest for a few days before heading south again for Pakse, which is close to the Cambodian border. I’ve been told that this is a hippie haven, so I might just spend some time there.

Laos doesn’t have any big cities. Vientien, the capitol, is the largest, and it really isn’t much bigger than Azusa. Savannakhet is the next largest city. This is a pretty, though somewhat run down, former French colony, and I really like it here. That’s a good thing, because I need a few days rest before cycling any more. Even though the roads here have been good (paved and flat) so far, I don’t think I’m in much danger of getting too many speeding tickets in this heat.

Not only is this a quaint little former colony, but I find the cost of living to be quite reasonable—not nearly as expensive as that yuppie-infested Mexico. I’m paying $2.25 a night for a luxury suite at the Santyphab Hotel, which boasts of having the cleanest outhouse of all hotels in town. Not only that, but it is on the bank of the crystal clear and sparkling Mekong River, which looks almost as inviting as the Ganges. I just can’t wait to go skinny dipping.

My impression of Laos so far is that it is an Asian version of Mayberry RFD. Everyone I cycle past in the small villages smiles, waves and says “sabaidii.” I certainly hope that “sabaidii” doesn’t mean “fuck you.”

Whenever I stop for water or noodles, it is quite common for most of the village to come over to meet the foreigner who is cycling through town. You would almost think that white people riding through rural Laos were a rarity, the way people act. I have a poor quality Lao phrase book, and a few of the villagers can speak some very limited English, so I am able to attempt to make some friendly conversation.

“I teacher from America. Teacher America no work three month in year. I vacation. I bicycle Vientien to Singapore.”

The idea of an exotic and adventurous vacation seems to be a totally alien and incomprehensible idea to the local villagers, and I think they are saying to each other, “No wonder those crazy Americans lost the war”.

Actually, I am having less problem communicating here than I did in France. No matter what people say, I still think that for a Frenchman to be caught speaking or understanding English is a guillotine offense.

The latest item of high tech gadgetry that I installed on the Holy Skinkmobile before I left for this trip is a Donald Duck tricycle horn that I bought at Toys R US. When a group of kids, and frequently even adults, wave at me as I ride past and I toot the horn, this frequently causes such laughter that they are actually rolling over on the ground.

One big difference I’ve noticed about cycling in a third world country as compared to Europe is that almost all of the good road kill has been taken off by the locals before I can get to it. This is causing me to spend a fortune on food that I had not anticipated. Did you know that a bowl of noodles over here can cost as much as 80 cents? One class of road kill that seems to have been totally overlooked by the locals is small and unidentifiable animals that have been stepped on by elephants. This is starting me to think of creative recipes for crepes. Because of all of the elephants, water buffalo, crazy tuk-tuks and tigers, about half the road kill is some poor guy on a motorscooter. But this somehow doesn’t look appetizing.

In Pakse, which I hear is somewhat of a hippie haven, I might spend four or five days before heading west back into Thailand, just north of the Cambodian border. I think I will avoid cycling in Cambodia because of steep hills with muddy roads and extreme distances between villages. I do hope to be able to find a way to leave the Holy Skinkmobile at a hotel in Thailand and travel by bus to Angkor Wat for a few days. This would really be an experience.

I still don’t have any travel schedule except that in about a month I want to be in southern Thailand near Surat Thani, where I want to spend several weeks in a Buddhist monastery studying meditation. From there I will return to my old home of Malaysia, leisurely cycling toward Singapore for the rest of the vacation. I still have friends in Jahore, which is just across the border from Singapore.

6/5/03, Vientien, Laos — I was able to get the Holy Skinkmobile on a bus in Bangkok last night, and just 14 short hours later I arrived here in Vientien, the most sophisticated and cosmopolitan city in the Peoples’ Republic of Laos. After wandering around the city a little, I’m beginning to think I have made the same mistake I made on my previous bicycle rides, and over-packed. This just does not look like the sort of place where I will have many occasions to wear either my tuxedo or my white dinner jacket. The capital of Laos looks to be about the size of Azusa. And this is the biggest city in the entire country.

After consulting my map, I’ve decided that heading west into Chang Mei might not be such a good idea. The road appears to wind through mountains for many miles before I can start south again alongside a river. This area is called the golden triangle.

My other option is to follow a road that closely parallels the Mekong River. I think this is the old Ho Chi Minh trail. My map makes it look like it is probably paved at least most of the way to Cambodia. Since this road parallels a river, the terrain should be fairly flat. This is not the sort of weather that makes peddling up steep hills seem like it would be a lot of fun.

Also, taking this route will give me an opportunity to relive some modern history. Just think, I will be following in the footsteps of those heroic and glorious freedom fighters who defeated the terrorist American axis of evil in their heroic struggle to build a utopia for the proletariat a generation ago and rid the area of the decadent capitalist influence. In case I see an F4 flying overhead, my plan is to jump off the Holy Skinkmobile and run like hell for cover in the jungle.

I’m not sure what route I’ll take once I arrive in Cambodia, but I’ll cross that swamp when I get to it. I think I’ll spend tomorrow sightseeing here, as I still haven’t taken any pictures, and then I’ll start cycling towards Cambodia on Saturday. This looks to be about 1000 km.

From the map, it looks like a very long way to the next town of any size. Hopefully, I will find another Internet cafe sometime and keep in touch.

5/31/03, Bangkok, Thailand — I arrived here in Bangkok just after midnight last night and managed to get myself, the Holy Skinkmobile and all of my stuff from the airport to town at that late hour with no problems. This was actually easier than hauling everything through the London underground at rush hour.

I am now occupying the presidential suite at the fabulous Sawasdee Khao San inn in Bangkok’s exclusive Khao San Road. This is where the Pope stays when he comes to Thailand. The regal surroundings actually have more quaint old world charm than Pancho’s Motel.

I’ve started trying to get acclimated to the heat over here, and today I walked all the way from Khao San Road to Pat Pong Street. This took 4 hours and 8 water stops. I am now dehydrated and have blisters on my feet, but I am making a start at getting accustomed to this heat.

I still haven’t decided for sure just how far north from here I want to go before I start to peddle the Holy Skinkmobile south to Singapore. I will probably stick with my original plan and take a train from here to Cambodia in a few days, after I’ve done some more sightseeing here. I might also go a little farther and start somewhere in Laos.

Talk to ya later,

Bill